"Captain, we are picking up strange energy readings dead ahead!" The man at the sensors was working frantically to give his captain more information before she could ask for it. "It's... there is a lot of gravimetric interference, but I suppose if we increase the sensor field bandwidth, patch in the lateral sensor arrays and boost the frequency, we might be able to get through." "Do it," the captain said. "Can you at least recognise the configuration?" "Not at this moment, sir. But I can sweep the area with a concentrated particle beam. If that's a ship, it's warp trail will register in the feedback." The captain only nodded. "However, this will require modification of our main deflector dish. To do it I will need to reconfigure our primary multi-spectral emitter." "Make it so," the captain replied. "I'll be in my ready-room, you have the bridge, commander," she smiled briefly to her first officer and left for the small office at the back of the bridge. After all, she couldn't admit, in front of her own crew that she had practically no idea what they were talking about. "Computer," she called, once safe in the seclusion of her room. "Access scientific database. Search for..." she tried to remember all those words her officers had used, but could only come up with the last exchange. "What exactly does the multi-spectral emitter do?" "The multi-spectral emitters are a standard Starfleet issue equipment for long range scientific vessels. They have been designed..." The captain wasn't patient enough. "Skip the history lesson, computer. Just give me the essentials. "The multi-spectral emitter ejects a multi-spectral particle beam." The captain sighed. This was getting her nowhere. Precisely at this moment, her commbadge chirped. "Captain to the bridge, please!" *Oh, great!* she thought. "Report!" She snapped, re-entering the bridge. "We are being hailed, captain. However, there is too much interference for us to be able to pick up anything beyond the carrier wave." "Lieutenant?" The captain looked at her tactical officer for options. "We... might reconfigure our tractorbeam to emit a low frequency impulse and modulate it to send the message." "OK.," the captain said, relieved. After a while the officer announced: "We have got through, sir. We are ready to receive the message now." "On screen," the captain ordered. "Co wy tam do diabla robicie?!" The words uttered by the humanoid on the main viewer were incomprehensible. "Te wasze technologiczne sztuczki za chwile rozwala wam statek!" The captain signalled to mute the transmission and turned around to face her crew. "Why doesn't the universal translator work?" She asked. This resulted in several of the bridge crew tending to their respective consoles with even more eagerness. The answer, however, was definitely not to the captain's liking: "It appears that our simultaneous translation matrix has been damaged, sir. Some of the circuits are out of alignment. It requires manual recalibrating." "Send an engineering team to deal with it, lieutenant," the captain answered, turning back to the screen. "I am sorry but we're experiencing some technical problems. Right now we can't understand what you're saying. We'll come back to you later," and she signalled to close the channel, even though the man on the other side clearly wanted to say something else. She was just meaning to go back to her ready-room to study the technological database more thoroughly, when her commbadge chirped again. "Captain, this is the engineering!" *Oh, crap!* thought the captain. *Now what?!" "What is it, commander?" she asked. "The temperature in the reaction chamber has increased by 39 per cent, sir! We are unable to slow down the reaction!" "Try venting plasma!" That, at least, the captain knew to be the universal remedy for most of the problems with the warp core. "Captain! Plasma conductors are not responding! We're gonna loose containment!" The captain turned around to look at her first officer but he only shook his head. She understood. "All hands," she began. "Proceed to abandon ship. I repeat, proceed to abandon ship. This is not a drill." Before anybody had a chance to move, the warp core breached... The captain looked around her to see the yellow grid of an empty holodeck. The flat computer voice announced: "Simulation ended, you may leave." *Great,* thought the captain - in reality only a 'captain-to-be', third year cadet. *Sounds like an invitation to leave the Academy altogether.* Before she managed to scold herself even more, the holodeck door parted to reveal her Betazoid tutor. The cadet snapped to attention, only to be dismissed with a wave of hand. "Not bad, cadet. Not bad at all," came the surprising words. "Commander?" "About your performance. It was... acceptable." "What are you saying?! I had no idea what was going on! I didn't understand half of what they were talking about and..." The cadet was prepared to drone on, but she was silenced by another dismissive gesture from her tutor. "That's all right, cadet. You were at least smart enough to depend on your crew to do their jobs." The cadet slowly exhaled. "Are you telling me this was yet another no-win scenario of yours?" The Betazoid commander smiled. "No..." she answered slowly. "But at least half of what they were telling you was rubbish." "What?!" "You may have passed it if you relied more on your knowledge cadet. Why do you think you had no idea what the multi-spectral emitter was?" The cadet was stunned. "Because I wasn't paying enough attention during my engineering classes?" She tried. "No. Because there is no such thing, cadet. And, venting plasma is not always an antidote for everything..."
