Lafayette spent the next couple of years back in the wilderness. As he used to - no people, no civilization, no more problems apart from finding food and shelter for the night. Somehow, it wasn't working all that well anymore. More and more often, he would think about David and Mona and Sarah… He even tried to contact the kid but he was away at the moment.
Pierre recalled what Sarah had told him when they said goodbye. That sooner or later he was going to miss his work, to miss people… Did he? He wasn't sure. It still frightened him. All those complicated relationships… Here, in the jungle, it was all so easy. You killed or you got killed. No time for second thoughts.
Finally, he had to get back to civilization for a while. His shuttle required some maintenance. He chose Earth, maybe hoping to see Sarah again.
He left the shuttle in the docks and, as usual, he went straight to the hotel. First thing was to fill the tub with hot water. Really hot. This may well have been the only thing he had always missed during his travels. Bathing in lakes or rivers while on a planet and ultrasonic showers aboard his shuttle weren't quite the same thing as a real, hot bath.
Pierre undressed and slowly got into the tub. The water was just perfect. He gradually relaxed, loosening up all his muscles while he rested his head back and closed his eyes. As always, the same thought came to his mind - about the huge, double tub he had installed back home and how they had bathed together with Yvonne…
He sighed, exasperated. *This is never going to go away,* he thought with despair, subconsciously repeating Sarah's words.. *No matter what I do, where I go…*
Yvonne. Life with her had been perfect. It would have been perfect. He was sure they argued sometimes but now he couldn't even remember it anymore. They had known each other so well… of course, they did have different opinions sometimes but they were always able to talk it through. It was just a matter of what was more important to one of them.
Lafayette remembered this painting Yvonne had fallen in love with. She really adored it. He didn't like it at all. For him, it was just a maze of colorful splotches, meaningless and rather irritating. But, Yvonne loved it and it wasn't like he hated it all that fervently. He got it for her and hung over the fireplace. She was so happy and he eventually got used to it, barely even noticing it after a few weeks. No, such things were never reason enough for them to argue about.
Pierre gritted his teeth and leaned forward to reach the tap. More hot water.
Why hadn't he taken his own life? There were so many ways of committing suicide. Slashing his wrists, drowning, firing a laser, taking poison… It wasn't like he had never thought about it. Back, in the operation ward, the thought had struck him when he realized there was nothing else he could do. He might have done it then if he hadn't lost his mind so fast. Later, all those conversations with the counselor…
Pierre wasn't sure what was actually stopping him now. He really had no hope for a better future. Any future, for that matter. There was nothing to look forward to, just taking it one day at a time. He was almost fifty now. With any luck, he had three times that many years ahead of him. Sometimes this thought scared him but he had learned to push it away. Killing himself wouldn't bring him any closer to Yvonne anyway.
That night, for the first time in twenty years, he went down to the hotel restaurant, instead of ordering the dinner up to his room. He chose a seat in the corner and just watched the people around him. It wasn't all that busy but about thirty, forty people were more than enough of a crowd for him. People from all walks of life - students, artists, some working, others not - as usual in such places… Plenty of Fleet uniforms as well: military black and science blue. He didn't belong there, that he was sure of. And yet, in some strange way, just watching all these people eat, talk, move around… it wasn't as unpleasant as he had expected.
He had four days before he could get his shuttle back. The next day he had his breakfast delivered to the room but for lunch, he decided to go some place. At a teleport point, he picked a random city and found himself in Los Angeles in Southern California region.
Pierre went over to the information center, to look for some quiet restaurant when the news flash on the screen got his attention. The Fleet Science Department was looking for genetics specialists. He tapped in to get the details. There wasn't much, most of the information was classified. He was about to switch back to the tourist channel when he read the word 'cloning'.
Cloning of humans had been banned for centuries and yet this was what the message was about. Space Fleet wanted people to work on cloning human cells… This was intriguing. Without giving it much thought, Lafayette found his resume file and sent it in an application form. Then he laughed to himself. Yeah, sure, he must have been exactly what they were looking for…
To his utmost surprise, he received an invitation for an interview the next day in his hotel. He was even more surprised when he found out that he had been accepted for the position.
Only now did they explain the details to him. After the war  with the Cyborgs barely over and with rumors of other hostile species gathering at the gates of Milky Way, the Alliance wanted to be prepared for a new, possibly more militant era. Their plan was to build their own army of cyborgs, able to fight where humanoids failed. They were supposed to be called androids, since the word "cyborgs" drew bad connotations. They were also meant to be far from mindless drones the Alliance feared so much. The Cyborgs used to take prisoners, usually entire crews, and turn them into, brainless, unaware half-machines, only obeying orders. The androids were to be more of enhanced humans, with minds of their own, only supported with computer skills and half-artificial bodies.
Upon hearing all this, Lafayette regretted his ill-considered step. Whatever he might have wanted to do with the rest of his life, it certainly wasn't supposed to be about fighting. He was everything but a warrior. They convinced him, however, that the androids weren't going to be only soldiers. They were to have human emotions, too. He couldn't stop laughing when they told him that his psychological profile was perfect for their goals.
"If you want an army of hysterical, self-loathing, sorry excuses for…" The psychologist didn't let him finish. He calmly explained to him that it was his other features that played the decisive role. His sensitivity, consideration and absolute lack of aggression. Pierre couldn't agree with such a description of himself but who was he to argue? They offered him excellent conditions, including a house on Earth in the place of his choice, his own lab and freedom to choose his co-workers.
Lafayette only had a couple of days to make up his mind. He thought about Sarah again and he finally realized that she had been right. Despite his doubts, the prospect of getting back to research, and without any patients to take care of, was too appealing to dismiss. The moment he agreed, he regretted it even more.
"The androids are going to serve as starship computer interfaces," he was told. It will be a TCS - Telepathic Computer System."
Emotional and telepathic cyborgs… this sure was against everything he had thought was the most basic principles of the Alliance.. Apparently, times are changing, he mused. But, since he said A, there was time to say B. However, B turned out to be his nightmare. A telepathic training with the Centaurians. The only good thing was that nobody forced him to eat their food…
* * *
Lafayette worked in the science facility on Mars but chose California to live. He found a spacious apartment near the beach. He made sure to choose one with open spaces and bright colors and still had it remodeled. He removed most of the walls inside, leaving only a few secluded rooms while the main living area was huge and only separated by glass walls from the beach outside. It gave the impression of being out in the open and it felt good.
During his first days there, he really felt out of place. So many people around, the traffic, constant crowds and noise…
The people he worked with were mostly young, fresh out of the Science Academy, but promising scientists. He had a lot to catch up with, after years spent away from medicine and science, but he found them all very helpful and understanding.
At first, he immersed himself so much in his work, he had a hard time taking any rest. Only the Fleet regulations prevented him from taking drugs but he would still pull an all-nighter once a problem absorbed him enough and these days, a lot of problems absorbed him.
"Doctor, you really need to get some sleep!" He heard that a lot. A few years later that changed to "Professor," as his research led to very promising results. Still, the other part remained the same.
"Yeah," he would wave his hand impatiently, without even turning away from a monitor. "Just a moment…" These 'moments' lasted for hours but his co-workers made sure he didn't work himself to death. Like it or not, at some point, someone would just switch the lights off and even his authority wasn't enough for them to conform. With a sigh, he'd shake his finger at them but eventually could be persuaded to at least take a nap.
After a few years, a new cadet joined his team. She had done brilliantly at the Academy and he just had to have her in his team. She must have been not older than twenty, a lovely blond with deep, green eyes. For some reason, she reminded him of Sarah, even though she was a brunette. But it wasn't the way she looked. Nanda was a complicated person.
Right from the start, he began to hear strange opinions about her. Apparently, she became the most... entertaining girl of the bunch. Boys tended to brag about dating and dropping her in impressively short periods of time. But, she didn't look happy and it was something that started bothering Lafayette very soon.
"Would you accept my invitation for a coffee?" he approached her one evening when they were getting ready to go home. She looked him up and down and smiled flirtatiously. "I'm afraid I'm busy tonight, Professor," she told him. "But, I feel flattered."
Lafayette shook his head. "Then perhaps tomorrow?" he asked softly. "I'm still kind of lonely here, you know..."
Nanda took a second look at him. He looked old, true, but still pretty handsome. After all, why not? Dating a boss might prove useful...
"Meet me outside the University, then. Tomorrow, right after work," she winked at him and fled the room. Pierre chuckled to himself.
The next afternoon, he was sitting on the stone steps at the entrance, basking in the lovely California sun, waiting for her, when he felt a sudden kiss on his head. He turned around to see Nanda, in a short, very provocative dress, ready to go. He got up and offered her his arm with a gentle smile. She was surprised but giggled and accepted it after a moment's hesitation.
"Where shall we go?" he asked as he lead her down the steps. "You know, I don't go out all that often…"
"Oh, let's go to Tom's," she chirped. "It should be quiet at this time of the day. We can talk..." her voice trailed off suggestively and Pierre realized that talking was not really on her mind. Still, he thought he'd play along.
When they sat down and made their orders, Pierre inspected her face. She was beautiful, there was no question about it. Big eyes, regular features and lovely, full mouth. She could have any man she wanted and, apparently, she wanted many. Yet, he thought, there was something in her eyes, in her playful smile, something hidden deep inside, that convinced him there had to be more to Nanda Jackson than met the eye.
Before their coffees arrived, Nanda was already chattering about everything and nothing. The weather, the boys, her new dress... a small talk if he had ever heard one.
"Why would a handsome man like you be lonely in the middle of a city?" she remarked suddenly, looking him in the eyes. Lafayette cringed.
"Why would a girl like you be lonely?" he replied with a question.
Nanda laughed out loud but, for a moment, she was surprised. "I never said I'm lonely," she told him. "I have tons of friends!"
The waiter, in a white tuxedo, came and went almost unnoticed. The place had a standing reputation for a good reason: no converters, no artificial stuff.
Pierre stirred his coffee slowly before he replied. "Tons are sometimes far less than just one, my dear."
Nanda reached out and touched his hand. "Do you want to be my one friend?" she asked in a sultry voice. Lafayette realized this was getting him nowhere. He took her hand and kissed it politely.
"You are a beautiful young woman, Nanda," he told her with a smile. "And I'm sure flattered that you would even consider me but..." he squinted his eyes and looked at her carefully. "I guess we might differ slightly in our definitions of friendship," he finished quietly.
Nanda blushed and removed her hand, busying herself with her coffee. "What do you want, then?" she asked, finally.
He laughed warmly. "I'd love to be your friend, my dear. I'd like to get to know you, if you don't mind. But, I am not one of your boys, I'm not looking for a fling."
She was hurt and he knew it. She shot him a dark look, unsure how to react. He didn't leave her time to dwell on it. Instead, he started talking about himself, to give her a chance to think.
A few minutes later, Nanda forgot about her gaffe and was listening intently to the story he was telling her about his adventures in the wilderness.
A few days later, he asked her out again. Frankly, he was surprised that she agreed but she did. And again, and again. He never touched her except kissing her hand to greet her and brushing her cheek as a goodnight. And she didn't make a pass at him again, either.
"Why don't you tell me something about yourself for a change?" Lafayette remarked one day when they were sitting over their empty cups at Tom's as many times before. "I seem to be doing all the talking and you already know most of my repertoire," he winked at her. "I'm going to run out of anecdotes pretty soon..."
He had told her once about flowers with petals twice as big as an average human. You could walk on them like you were walking on a carpet and you felt like Thumbelina.
"The colors are dazzling," he continued his story. "And the scent… but the pollen is deadly. It gets to your lungs and… I almost died there. My joinker saved me. You know what joinkers are? Small pets from the Nabarra system. Much like our dogs… poor thing. I had to ventilate him for hours after that. But he wouldn't stop squeaking until he got me out of there. I went back later with full equipment this time and a breathing mask… just to see those flowers again."
Yes, Professor Lafayette had dozens of stories to tell. Most of the planets he had visited were either primitive worlds, not unlike Earth, or early human colonies where he could travel for days without meeting any local people. He had, however, been to quite a few exotic places as well.
"One of the most beautiful things I've ever seen," he told her another time. "Were the musical waterfalls on Tanarra V. When the sun is rising, the magnetic fields resonate and there are spots where you can hear entire symphonies. What a music it is…"
"Yes, Nanda. I've seen many lovely places. And dangerous, too. I was once almost eaten alive… just sat there to rest in a jungle, with my back against a tree. It looked normal enough but, half an hour later, I didn't have a shirt anymore and my back was all burnt with acid. It didn't hurt at first, the tree produced anesthetics along with the acid… I took a sample later. But when they stopped working… I was going out of my mind with pain. And try to apply a dermal regenerator to your back… heh!"
"Once, when I was on my way back to Earth, I visited a small moon… I don't remember why. But my instruments failed and I materialized right in the middle of a primitive village. Of course, I was instantly proclaimed god. They sat me on some furry animal, the size of an elephant. It was dead and the smell…  but it was soft to the touch and surprisingly comfortable. The best part was when I got to choose from eleven virgins. Only problem was that they expected me to eat her… you wouldn't believe how that girl was disappointed when I insisted that I wasn't hungry. She tried to stab herself for me… poor thing, I must have disgraced her terribly…"
Certainly, Pierre had dozens of stories like this. He told her about the magnetic clouds on Tanga III and the alien creature that gave birth to its young right on his chest in the middle of the Purple Desert on Cyruis V and how he almost got eaten by a carnivorous flower on Peres Prime... Nanda never got bored listening to him.
"Your life was fascinating," she told him. "I wonder why you decided to abandon your travels?"
"Well," Pierre touched the rim of his cup and rubbed it absentmindedly. "I'm not sure. I guess, I started missing people at some point. It may sound exciting when I talk about it but... in reality, it was actually pretty boring. The adventures didn't happen one after another, you know." He smiled at her. "The main part was living day by day, struggling with rain and sun, spending long hours hunting for food and then preparing it... weeks on end alone in the shuttle traveling from one place to another..."
The happy smile vanished slowly from Nanda's face. "That sounds pretty lonely," she said thoughtfully.
Pierre looked into her eyes. "It was," he nodded.
She sighed and looked somewhere over his shoulder. He didn't say anything, allowing her time for her own thoughts.
"I suppose..." she started finally. "In a way, I'm also lonely... But," she added quickly. "I don't have any fascinating stories to tell."
"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to," Pierre said softly but she just shrugged. The atmosphere that night remained stiff. Half an hour later, he excused himself and walked her over to the teleporter point, wondering if he hadn't spoiled everything.
For the next two weeks, they only met at work. Nanda was a meticulous worker and he could always count on her to do her research thoroughly. She never mentioned anything personal to him and he didn't insist.
* * *
The summer break was approaching and Lafayette began to wonder what to do with himself for the two weeks off work. His first free time in ten years. He considered flying away to some primitive place, taking his rest in the surroundings he knew so well when, one day, she approached him.
"You told me so much about your adventures in the jungle," she said. "I was thinking... would you take me on such a trip? I'd like to see how it is, out there."
"Oh, I'd love to, my dear!" He beamed at her. "We could go to the African's park, there are large areas left of natural environment and we'd still be in touch with civilization?"
"That sounds like a great plan!" She kissed him on the cheek and was gone before he could react. He laughed happily to himself.
* * *
On their first day in the jungle it became clear that Nanda was out of her place there. He had to completely change her stock of clothes before they even teleported, replacing everything she would need from a hat for sun protection to light boots she had to wear instead of delicate slippers and high-heels she'd taken with her.
She was doing her best and Pierre appreciated it but it was clear that she soon got bored watching the birds, learning how to shoot them with a handmade arrow and then preparing them over the camp fire.  No, she wasn't made for this kind of life. She wanted to try it but there was no reason to keep her there, he thought in the evening. She saw what she wanted, it was time to take her back home.
Lafayette put down the fire and crawled into his sleeping bag making sure Nanda was as comfortable as possible. He decided to offer her a ride back home the next morning when he felt some movement. He tensed, trying to assess the danger when he realized it was her. She unzipped his bag slowly and was trying to slip into it.
"What are you doing?" he asked quietly.
She didn't reply. Instead, she snuggled against him and reached for the buttons on his shirt, while kissing his neck slowly. He stopped her.
"Nanda... don't," he whispered, hugging her.
"I want you..."
"No, you don't," he told her gently. "You want to be close to me but you don't want to make love..."
She pushed him away but he was holding her tight. "That's okay," he whispered. "I understand."
Nanda slowly relaxed in his embrace as he stroked her back. She put her head on his chest and started crying softly. He hugged her like a child until she fell asleep. In the morning, she gratefully accepted his offer to get back to California.
* * *
A few days later, Lafayette was sitting at the desk in his study when he heard the doorbell ring.
"I thought you wouldn't mind some company," Nanda told him when he opened the door. "I brought some friends with me!" She explained as he glanced at the whole bunch of young people waiting behind her back.
"Sure..." he said, stunned, inviting them to come in.
For the next few hours, his house turned into a nightclub with a crowd of young people dancing and drinking and having fun. Lafayette sat on the sofa, watching them and pretending to have a good time. Finally, one of the boys found a guitar hidden in the corner of the room.
"Do you play, Professor Lafayette?" he asked him.
"Yes," Pierre nodded. "Sometimes."
"Well, why don't you play something for us?"
"Heh! I'm not sure you'd like the kind of music I prefer," he tried to avoid him but the boy had already turned the computer down and everyone's eyes were fixed on Lafayette.
"Sing for us, please," Nanda came over to them. "We'd love to hear you."
Pierre took the guitar and looked around. He saw encouraging smiles on many faces. Resigned, he struck the strings, wondering what song to choose.
His young guests gathered around him, sitting straight on the floor, waiting. Finally, he decided:
"Nobody’s good at raising roaches
Nobody’s good at balling Jane
And I’m sleeping in the backs of coaches
Nobody’s gonna heal my pain

It’s the same jive every time
California on his mind
It’s the same jive every time
California on his mind

Dobie get the phone sort me out a loan
Let me try to buy up all the tea in China
Get me out the hole and put me on a roll
Coz there’s nothing going down in Carolina..."
By the time he got to the second refrain, everyone was singing along with him. When he finished, someone handed him a glass of his favorite red wine. And they wanted more so he sung a couple more songs before handing his guitar to one of the boys who taught him another piece.
When they all had enough of singing and playing, Nanda asked him to tell them one of his stories. For the rest of the evening, Lafayette remained in the center of everyone's attention.
* * *
With time, Lafayette learned to enjoy this way of life. His new, young friends accepted him into their circle and now, almost every night, he had a huge party in his house. Friends brought their friends who invited their own friends... a few weeks later Lafayette didn't even recognize many faces.
For some reason, these young people enjoyed his company. "At Lafayette's" became their favorite hang out and he soon discovered that he didn't mind. A group of boys placed  a pool table in the corner of his living room and they taught him how to play. They'd often go out to the beach in the middle of the night and organize swimming races and other games. Pierre never lingered behind. He was in good shape and he was stronger than most of these youngsters. He'd beat most of them in swimming or wrestling.
The girls giggled and called him charming and they loved it when he sang. Most of his repertoire remained sentimental love songs, though he learned a lot of new pieces from them. He liked  to watch as they cuddled up to their boyfriends, holding hands or dancing slowly to his rhythm. One thing that kept bothering him was Nanda.
He realized what she had done. Instead of sharing his lifestyle, which she apparently hated, she dragged him into her own. Constant parties, music and alcohol was what she thrived on. Lafayette didn't mind that. It finally provided him with something to do other than his work. Still, he often saw that look on her face, before she threw herself in the arms of a new boy. The look that was so familiar to him as if he was glancing at a mirror.
* * *
One night, when he was about to excuse himself and get some rest, while the party was still going on, he found Nanda sitting in one of the rooms, crying.
"What is it, my dear?" he asked softly, entering the room and sitting beside her on the bed. "What's wrong?"
She didn't reply, only started sobbing even louder. Pierre moved closer and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, putting her head on his chest. He kissed her hair and cradled her in his arms while she wept. He didn't say anything, he didn't ask. Finally, she said in a fitful voice.
"It's... it's Robert..." she told him. "He said... he loved me. I thought... why do they do that, Pierre?" she raised her wet eyes to look at him and he felt his heart melt. "Why do they always lie?"
"I don't know if they lie, dear," he told her softly. "You're all very young... maybe he believed what he said?"
"He didn't!" Nanda shook her head. "He only wanted to go to bed with me!"
Lafayette sighed and pulled her closer. "Perhaps that's the kind of boys you keep on attracting?"
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know," he shrugged. "I'm just guessing. You seem so... eager, so hungry for love... they may mistake it for lust," he said thoughtfully.
"Why can't they be more like you?" she sobbed unexpectedly.
"Like me?" Pierre repeated, surprised. "Oh no, thank goodness they aren't like me!"
Nanda freed herself from his embrace and looked into his eyes. "You are a wonderful man, Pierre," she told him. "I wish you wanted to be with me..."
"I am with you," he said. "I am always here if you need me."
"It's not what I meant."
"I know," he sighed. "But that's all I have to offer. I... I'm too old for you and... I have my own problems. But I'm sure you'll find your true love if you keep on looking."
That night, she told him the story of her life. She had lost both of her parents when she was ten. Her older brother took care of her but he couldn't give her the love and support she needed. As soon as she was big enough, she started dating boys. She wasn't very particular. She longed for the warmth her brother couldn't give her so much that she mistook lust for love and kept on repeating that mistake over and over again.
Pierre didn't interrupt her with one word as she told him her story of one failure after another. She was a good kid, she made it through the Science Academy with flying colors and she was on her way to a great career. Still, her private life was in ruins and she didn't understand why.
* * *
That one conversation didn't change much  in their relationship at first. Nanda would still visit Lafayette almost every night, lose herself in the crowd, dance and drink until she dropped and he would watch her from afar, as she roved around from one embrace to another. Only sometimes she would shoot him a thoughtful glance and he'd smile sadly at her.
One evening, he noticed that he wasn't alone in his watching Nanda. A young man he barely knew, maybe thirty years old, was sitting by the window with his eyes glued to her for most of the time. Lafayette remembered that he had started visiting him maybe two weeks earlier, though he couldn't tell who introduced them. Not that it was very important, Pierre was now leading an open house and he didn't mind people coming and going as they pleased.
He took his glass and went over to the man. His name was Peter, if he remembered correctly.
"She's beautiful, isn't she?" he remarked, sitting next to him. Peter shot him a startled glance. Lafayette smiled at him gently. "I've been watching her myself," he told him.
"She... she is gorgeous," the boy admitted shyly.
"Well, why don't you ask her to dance, then?"
"I... she wouldn't accept me," Peter shrugged. "She's always surrounded with boys..."
"How do you know?" Lafayette said warmly. "Sometimes the middle of the crowd is the loneliest spot in the world..."
Peter looked at him, surprised, but Lafayette only winked at him and went over to pick his guitar.
It was a signal for his frequent visitors to stop the computer music and gather around him. Lafayette tuned the instrument for a moment and started playing:
"These are sunny days in many ways
I'm sailing on through a smoky haze
I still believe in love that's true
When I think about someone I knew

I sing to folks I feel I know
In all the places lonely people go
They smile and say we've been there too
When I think about someone I knew..."
Peter never took his eyes off of Nanda and she finally noticed him. Lafayette laughed to himself when she sent him one of her killing looks and he blushed. It took a couple of songs more before she finally went over and asked him to dance. For some reason, Lafayette thought of only one song fitting their first encounter. He braced himself as he struck the first soft chords of the song Yvonne had loved so much and he sang from the depth of his heart:
"For your love I’d die of hunger
It’s a miracle to me
Now that I finally have found you
This is where I wanna be

And I do what anyone would do
As night begins to fall
When you and I make shadows on the wall

Don’t ever go away
For if you fade away
What will I ever say
To our shadows on the wall..."
A few months later, Lafayette was the best man for the first time in his life.

 

BACK TO THE TOP

 

 

Part 4 California

Around AD 2379